How can talking really help?

When couples talk together in counselling they often..

My partner feels pressured to come along..

It is quite common for one partner to want to go for help while the other just feels under pressure to follow. This reluctance is often the result of misconceptions about what’s involved, especially the assumption that the Counsellor will take sides or even worse, judge people for their actions. Another fear is that it will simply degenerate into arguments, but were this to occur, it would simply recreate in the session the same destructive situation happening at home and so the Counsellor can then help to break the pattern of behaviour to find a more constructive way of discussing your issues.

How does the Counsellor avoid taking sides..

The Counsellor will have had years of experience and is trained not take sides, nor does he or she tell couples what to do. Instead, the Counsellor will endeavour to understand what has brought a couple to this point, what their needs and desires are beyond the immediate breakdown, and from this find better ways for them to understand each other. The process is as much about appreciating the positive in the relationship as facing up to the negative. The Counsellor tries to ensure that this is communicated in a constructive fashion, for often poor communication has been at the core of the problem from the outset. Spending some time listening and communicating properly can then become the foundation for future growth. The aim is not just to resolve current issues but to develop the basis for communication that can be used in the future.

Gaining mutual respect..

Not all couples are able to successfully resolve their differences and separation can be best resolution, but this does not necessarily mark a failure in the therapeutic process since the real aim is to promote mutual respect between two people, whatever the outcome. The goal is to arrive at a point where a couple can begin to understand each other, and from this basis work together toward finding a solution.

Some common issues couples bring to counselling..